Bike Night in Northeast PA

It’s Tuesday night, which means it's “Bike Night” in Northeast PA. If you or your significant other own a motorcycle and live within driving distance of Wilkes Barre, then you know what I mean.

Ok well maybe it is Bike Night at my house. Apparently there are multiple nights when one can drive their big surrogate you-know-what to some bar where they hope they will see scantily clad girls that they can pretend are real sluts who need it “bad.” And your man is just the guy to give it to them, not that he will. He just likes to think they are checking him out and thinking that they wish they could have him. And why wouldn’t the girls be thinking that? I mean he just drove in there on his Super Cool Man Machine! What’s not to want?!

You know that in real life your guy is actually an accountant, but on Bike Night he is transformed. He’s a Hell’s Angel. And you, if you are nice enough to go with him, you become Pamela Anderson. And not just any Pamela Anderson, Pamela Anderson as we know her in the infamous Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson Internet video – the ultimate Bike Goddess.

If you don’t go with him, you also know what you are; you are a Bike Night Widow. A Bike Night Widow is a lot like a Golf Widow. I’m a Bike Night Widow most Tuesday nights when the weather is good. Who really wants to sit on the back of a Harley all the way down to Wilkes Barre from Scranton? Not me.

Being a Bike Night Widow has its perks. For instance, all that time alone gave me the opportunity to start this blog. Also, Bike Night could be (not that I’ve done this yet but just thinking about it makes me happy) a night where you watch chick flicks and eat ice cream without your man looking sideways at you causing you to be aware of his fears about how that ice cream is going to make you feel fat, which is going to put a damper on your sex life, which as you know is his number one priority.

As you will recall from my “Produce Aisle Posturing” entry, I have a vivid imagination, and I do enjoy making up stories. And seeing as most nights I don’t actually attend Bike Night, what I write here is a representation of what I imagine is happening at Bike Night. And, if I didn’t think my kid might read this, I could really give you some juicy details…but alas, I can’t.

In a future entry, I promise to review some of these places. Maybe I’ll even tell you the true story of the Ladies Hot Dog Eating Contest that I once witnessed, which consists of trying to bite a hot dog that is hanging from a string as you ride by it on the back of your man’s bike. This experience is especially entertaining when the girls wear mini skirts and thongs for the big event, which a LOT of them do (not surprisingly).

Here is a list of establishments that sponsor Bike Nights in our area. If you want to be added to the list or you have a suggestion of a place that should be on the list, please email me.

Kildare’s in Scranton - Mondays
Outsiders Saloon, Inc. in Wilkes Barre – Tuesdays
Quaker Steak and Lube in Dickson City - Wednesdays
Damon’s in Clarks Summit – Thursdays
Lone Star in Wilkes Barre - Thursdays
Bentleys in Ashley (2300 Routh 309) - Sundays July 26 and Aug 2, 2009 from 2 to 8 pm
Spurs in Pittston - Sundays

Um...yeah

I was reading the blogs of some of my fellow Northeastern Pennsylvanians this evening and I came across these ramblings. It is really funny. The blogger claims to be a bible thumping octogenarian and  "moral compass for her neighborhood".  The entries are really entertaining. When I read the one where she recounts her leaving Ex-Lax out for a candy stealing retarded kid to find in church, I became quickly convinced that it is a joke. In any case it is a funny diversion in an Archie Bunker sort of way. 

Restaurant Review - Mother's Table

Today was the kind of Sunday made for sleeping in, which is exactly what I did. Allowing myself the rare luxury of a gradual emergence from my bed, I got my fill of Paige Davis and TLC'c Trading Spaces on television and decided it was time to think about getting some late breakfast. I have never been one to eat alone if I can avoid it, so I gathered up two willing accomplices and headed out with no real destination in mind. I decided to drive up Penn Avenue by the Marquee Cinemas at the Steamtown Mall to see if anything perked my interest in the way of a late afternoon movie and there, on the right, I saw Mother's Table and decided that it might be divine providence that we should have our long awaited breakfast there...it wasn't.

The decor in Mother's is really cool I must say. It is interesting, kitschy, and retro but in a genuine and tasteful way. There are plants here and there, interesting photos, prints and objets d'art, all complemented by pleasant subdued lighting. The gentleman who greeted us at the door inquired as to the number in our party, promptly bussed a table in the window which had been recently vacated, and sat us. I was really happy with our table and we perused our menus and chatted as we took in the bounty of sights, in the way of decor and clientele, that populated the place.

A few minutes passed and our waitress appeared. She, whom I shall henceforth refer to as Hilda, had that "I have way too many tables so don't expect much from me thank you very much" look about her and she apologized for the wait and took our complete order. The breakfast menu was pretty standard fare from which I chose a ham, cheese and mushroom omelet and my friends had a fried baloney, egg and cheese on a hardroll and a short stack of blueberry pancakes with a sausage patty. Much to my surprise, Hilda invited the two of us that ordered breakfast platters to visit the buffet area to help ourselves to fruit, danish, or homefries. Here, dear reader, is where the train came off of the rails.

I walked up to the buffet area looking forward to a bit of danish and fruit. There was a large bowl of canned peaches combined with fresh melon, a chafing pan full of potatoes, a tray of portioned danish, and not a plate or bowl in sight. No problem... I asked Hilda where the plates were and she said she would get us some, but alas it was not to be.

I went back to my table rather than stand in the middle of the crowded dining room and figured I'd remind Hilda when she brought our food. I was then asked a question that no one wants to hear during a Sunday breakfast outing; "Does this cream smell OK to you?" It didn't, It wasn't. Surely, I thought, Hilda will be here momentarily to sort this all out. Minutes dragged by, my friends unable to drink their polluted coffees. After way too long, I got up, determined to find if not Hilda, then anyone to get us new coffees and oh yeah, the plates for the buffet, although my appetite was already heading south fast.

I asked another waitress who cheerfully and quickly produced a stack of plates for the buffet just as I saw Hilda heavily laden down with our orders, heading for our table. I took the opportunity to grab a few danish and some fruit for the table and heard the woman who brought the plates to the buffet ask Hilda, who had by now delivered our orders, "Did they tell you about their coffees?" She replied that yes, she had been told. That was the last we saw of Hilda during our visit. No "How is everything?", no "May I freshen your coffee?", not even so much as a glance. Perhaps she was out having a smoke.

In all fairness, I want to say that the food was fine. The omelet was ample, freshly made and well presented. The sandwich was only okay (the egg was a bit rubbery), but the homefries were excellent. The blueberry pancakes were quite nice and the portions were adequate without going overboard, but the coffee was mediocre at best. Honestly, in the world of diners up and down the valley, with a few notable exceptions, there is not a tremendous amount of variation in menu. The most effective means of setting one establishment apart form another is in the area of service.

Mothers really has a lot going for it. The physical space is great, the food quality is fine, the price is fantastic, and they do seem to try to offer a little more than the usual, the fruit and danish bar being an example. The lunch and dinner menus were very interesting too and may well be worth a try at some time in the future, but Mothers however, at least judging by this morning's experience, is hamstrung by the waitstaff. I am not sure if it is a training issue or just the wrong people trying to do the job, but it should be addressed by the owners. I know it is difficult to attract and keep quality employees, but the many local eateries that offer excellent service provided by a pleasant, well groomed wait staff bear testimony that it is possible. Come on Mothers, you can do it! We are rooting for you.

Mother's Table
117 Penn Avenue
Scranton, PA 18503
(570) 969-0260

Restaurant Review - Atami Sushi

Clarks Summit has a brand new sushi bar. Atami Sushi is located next to Gerrity's supermarket in the strip mall off of Winola Road at Old Lackawanna Trail. I was having a light workday today so I asked a friend to join me for lunch at this new spot. It was pouring rain, and I was happy to see a parking space right in front of the door. As one might expect in a new restaurant (that as far as I know hasn't even announced its presence outside of hanging a sign) there were only about eight other patrons seated in the place when we walked in.

I have to hand it to the folks that opened this place. My guess is that they are working on a tight budget, but they are sure making the most of it. There is a lovely new sushi bar on the left as you walk in and just a handful of tables on the right. I noticed the cool track lighting over the sushi bar and another track, as yet with no lights in the middle of the dining room. The walls are freshly painted alternately in deep blue and mango tones, giving the place a funky feel, but there is nothing hanging on the walls to break up the vast blank expanses. I am sure that the abundance of empty space on both the walls and in the dining room will fill up over time as the restaurant establishes itself, and I have no doubt that it will do just that. Atami does not have a liquor license, and you are encouraged to BYOB as the sign on the window suggests.

We took up our positions at the sushi bar and both ordered from the lunch special menu which was reasonably priced in the $8.00 to $12.00 range. My lunch consisted of a choice of miso soup or salad (I chose salad), a sushi roll which I selected from the generous assortment available for the special (I chose spicy yellowtail roll), and three pieces of nigiri which were "chef's choice". Not surprisingly, these turned out to be tuna, yellowtail, and salmon, which was just fine with me. My friend ordered the two roll lunch special and opted for the miso soup over the salad. Her roll selections were the Tokyo roll and the ebiten roll. We both ordered hot green tea as our beverage and eagerly awaited the arrival of our first course.

The miso and salad arrived very quickly and were fine. The salad had a dressing that was a little different from the usual overpowering and heavily applied ginger variety found at some of the other sushi venues in the area. It was milder and had a pleasant orangey tone to it. Judging from the uniqueness and consistency of the dressing, I might guess that it was made in house. Beyond the dressing, the salad was unremarkable. It consisted of the usual iceberg, shredded carrot, and tomato, with a few bits of red cabbage tossed in for color. The miso soup however was quite good. It was lighter in color than one is used to getting in our area and well flavored with both the seaweed and miso shining through pleasantly. There was a generous amount of diced tofu and the soup was the perfect temperature.

Of the three rolls we sampled, the best one was the spicy yellowtail. It was made of finely minced fish blended with a peppery sauce and rolled with (I think) a bit of bonito flake and finished with a sprinkling of sesame seed. It was a bit hotter than I am used to in a spicy roll but I really, really liked it. Our next favorite was the ebiten roll which featured tempura shrimp, avocado, cucumber, and a delightful sauce that was a hit in both flavor and texture. Last, and in this case least, was the Tokyo roll. I can't say it was bad, but even now, just an hour after tasting it, I can't clearly remember what it was like. It was utterly unremarkable. Perhaps it was because we had some pretty flavorful offerings on the plate competing with it, but the Tokyo roll did not impress, and I will almost certainly not order it again. The nigiri sushi was very good in each case. The rice was superb and the amount was in perfect proportion to the size of the fish. I am always disappointed by a tiny morsel of fish on a huge wad of rice. The fish itself was beautifully smooth and even in texture and possessing an excellent fresh taste.

Though it doesn't have the ambience, yet, of its more well established competition and lacks a liquor license, I think that Atami Sushi is here to stay. I highly recommend giving Atami a try for lunch or perhaps for dinner before heading out to the bar or club on the weekend. You will leave satisfied, particularly if the quality of the food is what is really important to you.

Atami Sushi
100 Old Lackawanna Trl
Clarks Summit, PA 18411
(570) 585-1250

Produce Aisle Posturing

In the afternoon of Sunday, May 4, 2008, I happened to be doing some grocery shopping at Wegman’s in Dickson City. As I rounded out of the fruit and vegetable section into the baked goods, I bumped into Judge Munley and his wife, whom I have seen there together on several occasions. (I think it is very nice that he accompanies his wife to the store.) She is a lovely woman who, even though she is no longer a spring chicken, when you see her, you still think, “Va va voom!”

I like to make up stories about people in my head. And seeing the judge and his wife always elicits the same story line. I imagine that she is the judge’s second wife. And when I see her, I can’t help but think about his first wife. So when I see them, I always feel a little sad. I hope the first Mrs. Munley (if she exists) isn’t still bitter about the divorce.

Then a few minutes later I spotted Judge Minora shopping alone. He didn’t appear to be doing much shopping. I think all he had in his cart was a bunch of Pellegrino. I don’t know ANYTHING about him, but I made up a story anyway. He is sort of a handsome fellow, not too old, still in his prime. I imagine a man of his stature, position in life, and good looks really gets around with the ladies. And after he entertains one of his lady friends, he probably offers them a refreshing Pellegrino. I know I would be delighted and impressed.

Speaking of the ladies, a little later I noticed Judge Minora chatting with the mayor’s wife, Mrs. Doherty, in another corner of the store. The mayor’s wife, for those of you who haven’t seen her in person, is cute like a pixie and charming. I’m guessing she is bright, as well. I don’t actually know her (or any of these people for that matter).

So there she is talking with our debonair Judge Minora, which should inspire one as imaginative as me to suddenly hear a refrain from Dan Fogelberg’s song, “Same Old Lang Syne:”

“Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve.”

But it didn’t.

There was no chemistry between them, so I couldn’t make up a good story about them.

All those politicos in one place got me thinking. What were they all doing there together? Was it coincidence? My intuition tells me it was not.

I mean, obviously they were all grocery shopping, but what were the chances that they were all there at the same time? Now mind you, I haven’t gone back to test my hypothesis. But I suspect they all go on Sunday afternoons to take advantage of a secret discount for county and city workers that we know nothing about.

Sunday Morning Hero

If you ever want to score some huge points with your significant other or any one else who may still be lingering around your place on a Sunday morning, show off your mad cooking skills by whipping up a fresh quiche for breakfast. Quiche is one of those foods that you see in restaurants or on brunch buffets but no one ever seems to make it at home. It is time to demystify this dish once and for all. In truth, it couldn't be easier to make.

Begin with a refrigerated pie crust from your grocer's dairy section. I find Pillsbury to be a brand that  yields flavorful and consistent results. I like to make these in 9 inch glass pie plates, but foil ones work fine too if you want to send the leftovers home with one of the guests.  Before you get started, preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Unroll the dough and form it into the un-greased pie plate. If you want to decoratively pinch the edges of the crust then by all means knock yourself out.

The filling starts with an egg and cream base known as “royale” in some circles. Basically you need to use one egg per half cup of heavy cream, or light cream if you must. Typically, a nine inch quiche will need three eggs and therefore one and one half cups of cream. Mix these together well by hand, I use a regular fork to do this. To the mix, you should now add a little bit of nutmeg, just a shake or two is fine, fresh grated is even better, and some black pepper.

The rest of the filling is entirely up to your imaginaton so long as it amounts to about 2 cups of volume. Some of the combinations I have added to the crust before I pour in the royale have been:

• ½ pound well cooked and crumbled bacon, ½  of a 10 oz package of thawed frozen spinach which has had as much of the water squeezed out as possible, and ¾ cup grated swiss. (Quiche Lorraine)
• ¾ cup cooked flaked salmon, leftover is perfect, ½ package of cream cheese in small pieces, and as much sauteed mushrooms and/or onions as you'd like.
• 1 bunch of asparagus, woody ends removed, cut into 1 inch pieces and ½ cup, at least, of grated parmesan cheese stirred into the royale. I use Locatelli brand. Then finish by sprinkling about another 2 tbsp on the top.

Place the quiche into the oven and about 40 minutes later, give or take a few depending on the fillings used, it is done. The finished quiche will rise up a bit and brown somewhat. You can test for doneness with a toothpick or knife in the center. It should come out clean. Let it cool, during which time it will drop down again and enjoy it either warm or cold. You can literally use almost anything for the filling, broccoli and cheddar cheese, or perhaps ham, onions and american. The list is limitless and leftovers work great. Give it a try, enjoy, and let us know how you made out.

Cafe Review - Zummo's

Located in what was once a neighborhood store and shoe repair shop, Zummo's Cafe is now buzzing with an excellent assortment of Electric City Roasting Company's coffee and the aficionados that it attracts. The cafe, which can be quite busy at times is a welcome alternative to the mediocrity of the “Starbucks experience”.

Other than the high quality coffees, what sets Zummo's apart is the food. The talented kitchen staff turns out regular menu items like the egg and sausage biscuit sandwich, a fantastic chicken salad pita, and a variety of sweet baked goods. The rest of the menu can be best described as an ever-changing variation on consistent themes. There is always a quiche of some kind, an interesting assortment of salads, and frequently very creatively composed panini sandwiches. The candy-counter feel of the cash register area is a big hit with kids who can often be seen successfully convincing their parents of their need for that cookie, or bag of “penny candy”.

Once you have your cup of joe in hand, you can find a comfortable spot in the newly expanded seating area. By building a connection to the adjacent building, the owner, Mary Tellie has created a welcoming space to enjoy your coffee, engage in conversation, get a little work done by utilizing their free WiFi access, or sit on the front porch and bask in the glory of a Green Ridge morning. The seating area features some very comfortable antique upholstered pieces and a number of tables. The chairs, wickery types, unfortunately seem to have been chosen exclusively for looks without regard for comfort or durability. A very nice feature of the dining area is the cupping bar, where on Saturday mornings at 10:30am as well as other scheduled times Ms. Tellie shares her considerable knowledge of the venerable bean by hosting free side by side tastings, or cuppings as they are known in the industry, to help nurture the budding discernment of the more dedicated devotees.

While the unadulterated espresso, the world-class coffee produced by the Clover machine, and even the drip house blends are excellent, I would be remiss not to address an issue regarding other coffee concoctions. The key to blended coffee beverages at a great cafe is consistency. Today's double shot latte should taste just like yesterday's, which should have tasted just like the one you enjoyed last week. It is in this area that Zummo's hasn't quite found its legs. Though the majority of the baristas are well-trained and superb java jockeys, there are a few from whom I will never attempt ordering a latte again. If however you are fortunate enough to be served by Rachel, Lisa, Maggie, Tracy Ann or Mary herself, you will be rewarded with a fantastic drink that will make you forget any other cafe around.

So the next time you are craving caffeine and are tempted to hit the Starbucks drive-thru, don't give in to the marketing hype. Go straight to Zummo's for a refreshing and delicious diversion from the usual grind.

Zummo's Cafe
918 Marion St
Scranton, PA 18509-2314
(570) 344-2715

Restaurant Review - Farr Street Tavern

Though they aren't exactly what most people think of when they hear the words “buffalo wings”, the peppery, tomatoey beauties served up at the Farr Street Tavern in West Scranton's Tripp's Park neighborhood will win over even the most stalwart of Buffalo purists. It should also be noted that in addition to a unique and flavorful sauce, Farr Street Tavern's wings are consistently cooked to perfection. It has been our experience that unlike Farr Street, many of the usual “wing nights” around town often sacrifice quality and consistency to meet the increase in demand. What, if anything, is worse than undercooked, flabby wings? .... shiver me timbers.

Additional noteworthy menu items are the burgers, which beat any of the offerings at the so called gourmet burger chains popping up on Commerce Boulevard, and the outstanding steak fries.

So the next time you decide to make it a “wing night”, go off the beaten path and try something new. Enjoy the game, order up some wings and a cold one, and leave a nice tip. Farr Street Tavern is a great find.

Farr Street Tavern
1601 Farr St.
Scranton, PA 18504

UPDATE: Farr Street allows smoking so with the new laws you can't take your kids in there anymore. We go early to avoid the cloud of smoke that hangs in the air after 8pm or so.

Restaurant Review - Don Lucho

UPDATE: DON LUCHO'S HAS CLOSED

Thank goodness for Don Lucho on North Main Avenue! As far as I know, this restaurant is the only one in Scranton that serves food from Central America. They have done a beautiful job decorating the place. It is so colorful and festive, one can't help but be in a good mood when there. We have eaten at Don Lucho's twice and really enjoyed our authentic meals. I think we had the Bandera Colombiana for dinner one night and the Desayuno Hondureno for breakfast on another day. Both were excellent. The couple that runs the place know how to provide good customer service, too. If you live in Scranton, I highly recommend giving the place a try. It would be great to see this venture succeed. Plus, where else can you go for Huevos Rancheros on a Sunday morning when you're really craving them?

EDIT ******Aug 19, 2008****** There has been an "on vacation" sign in Don Lucho's window now for several weeks. This place may be closed.

Acadero Don Lucho
309 North Main Avenue
Scranton, PA 18504
(570) 341-7770

UPDATE: Don Lucho's is gone...

Bookmobile Confessional

This morning we saw the Lackawanna Bookmobile rumbling down Keyser Avenue. Being jam-packed with books, this vehicle is just full of potential. But instead of feeling the sense of excitement that one should feel in the presence of such opportunity, my friend turned to me and said somewhat quietly and with an air of shame, "The Bookmobile."

Apparently my friend and I both have that same childhood guilt lingering around reminding us of the humiliation we felt as we paid the late fee for that very-overdue-library book, or (dare I admit it?) for the book that we didn't manage to return at all. When we see the shiny white Lackawanna Bookmobile bus, it conjures up images of desperately hunting through the house for a missing book, that finally shows up months later under your bed. Or maybe you accidentally got the library book wet and hopelessly tried to dry it, only to have each of the pages crinkle in their own unique direction. As a consequence of our early Library Misadventures, libraries and that darn bookmobile have the effect of making us very uncomfortable.

So I had this idea, for a traveling confessional to help remove this guilt and allow children and adults throughout our area to once again feel joy when they see the Bookmobile, instead of a sense of dread. The confessional could be pulled along on a trailer behind the bookmobile. Before returning that overdue book or before applying for a library card, one could meet with the priest on call.

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been 18 years since I signed out this book."
"That will be $42.55 and two Hail Mary's. I absolve you. Go in peace."

I think Bishop Martino might want to think about implementing this plan. I think it could bring about a revival both in the Church and in libraries throughout the area.